Roses are black.

 
*Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Its been such a long time since I've updated this blog. Perhaps I've gotten too busy to pen down my thoughts, or perhaps there are things inside of me that I simply don't want to come to terms with. But then again, life hasn't been all that bad..


The moment I've been waiting for in a long while, my graduation!:) Although my graduating GPA was nothing to shout about, painfully shameful if you compare it to others..But I guess it has to be taken into context.I'm really weak in my math and sciences, and despite working hard my efforts never seem to pay off. Regardless,I chose to keep at it, and finish my polytechnic diploma. Which I consider an accomplishment in itself. Nat, Kenneth,Diana and Ash came to attend our graduation! Chris was graduating too:)
Upon graduation, I applied to SIM, university at Buffalo(Communications).And wasted no time in spending my welldeserved holidays fully! Didn't take up a full time admin job like my parents suggested becoz I wanted to enjoy my holidays..
But I did work in a food expo for an obscene amount of pay. got this job by chance as my mom knew of a person who was organising a food fare in Expo,and it so happened that this Canadian company, Richardson required help. He was willing to pay $120 a day, so gladly I JUMPED at the opportunity! Really enjoyed working there as a promoter and establishing contacts for the company. Meet alot of food suppliers and restuarant owners there! Like Sakae sushi and Superdogs.HAHA. Ultimately the handsome sum of money I earned from this short 5 day job funded my Taiwan trip with my besties!
Worked in the Lego shop, secret chamber as well:) Working around lego really fueled my childhood interest of Lego toys and tapped into my slightly tomboyish side.hehe!
I went for a mission trip to Cambodia. Travelled to Hongkong with my family and Taiwan with my best friends.And...I joined the vertical marathon!One of my favorite drinks, long island tea.
Everybody was having huge-ass 21st parties, but huge crowds kinda freak me out and have the tendency to make me feel rather lonely. So I celebrated my birthday with individual groups. Most importantly was with my closest friends, Jo Goh, Diana and Shuzhen. Went to Timbre to enjoy yummy thin crust pizza, buffalo wings and cocktails!:)
Joanne, Shuzhen and I. timbre had an interesting cocktail called shrek 3!:D
3 of us again. Diana and I. Haha we attempted to take an artistic shot and wanted to show how contrasting both of us were. Diana in her korean-ish haircut and floral dress, and me in striking black and red. :) love this shot. Who ever said super close frens have to be carbon copies of each other?
I came, I climbed and I conquered.
ALL 63 LEVELS of stairs!:) It was at the UOB(or OUB?hahaha I dunno!) building. I was suay I had a terrible flu prior to the vertical marathon..and didn't manage to recover before the climb!However being strongwilled and stubborn as I was, decided to go for the climb anyway because it was already paid for and I was looking forward to it. It was really tiring, and torturous as I found it hard to breathe with the flu. Was wheezing away like an asthmatic and had to stop several times. Initially the others sprinted up, but Jeremy, Ashley, Inez and Abraham didn't leave the stairwell, waiting for me at several intervals and encouraged me to keep climbing. HAHA Abraham kept singing, THE CLIMB. And honestly, it wasn't the lyrics that motivated me..it was the offkey-ness of it all which drove me to continue climbing so that he'll STOP singing, "Theres always gonna be another mountainnn.."
Jeremy and Ashley tried bluffing and bribing me into believeing that there was a Forever 21 store up there, with a massive sale. HAHA you guys are BAD liars.
Stupid Ashley tried the army method of motivating. "Come on Dawn, don't give up. You see, everyone's up there already. ITS NOT HARD, why are you so tired! Push yourrself, don't be a weakling!!" OMG.haha. I so wanted to smack him on the head but loved that they were trying to motivate me the best way they know how.
Yuming, Shuzhen,Diana, Me and Joanne
Had a fairly large gathering for my 21st dinner at KIM's restuarant! Its at upper bukit timah road, near al-ameen. Diana and Shuzhen chose the restuarant and i loved it! No surprises there since Jo aned Diana are avid K-pop fans and almost everything korean. And I absolutely LOVE korean food. And cosmetics.HAHA. The entrees were reasonably priced but the plus factor is that they give about 10 different little side dishes of vegetables,kimchi,tofu..etc.etc. At the end of the meal, a sweet ginger tea and fruits will be served. Free flow of water will be given throughout the meal.dawn loves it!:)
EVERYBODY!

The guys kept fiddling with Benben's new Ipad. Gah,boys and their toys.
Joanne,Diana,Joyce,Kenneth and I took a trip to Taipei, Taiwan! We spent most of our nights frequenting the different night markets around Taipei, and shopping most of the time.HAHA the girls bought a mad load of stuff. I didn't really spend as much as taiwan's clothes weren't excatly my style. They were either too grungey(greys with holes and faded spots everywhere) or girly (lace,frills,pinks and polka dots.OH MY TIAN!) I did shop quite abit and ate alot of food!
haha Kenneth and I went there mainly for the food. Kenneth found his life's purpose. CHICKEN CHOP! hahaha!I still remember the conversation when he tasted his very first zi pai in taiwan.
Kenneth: Joanne, I feel like crying...
Joanne:*alarmed* WHY??
Kenneth: I feel like I died I gone to heaven..
LOL!!!
Haha I said almost the same thing when I bought a huge mountain of SNOW ICE WITH FRUITS!:) Ate snow ice or ice cream practically everyday in Taiwan, likewise for Kenneth and his beloved chicken chop.
Joyce, Diana,Kenneth and I.On the train(4 hour ride) to Hua lien. Which later, turned out to be a disappointment as Joanne's friend warned us, "There's nothing to do at Hualien, there's only scenery,old people and shit." Sadly what he said turned out to be true, and he didn't mention another factor. TONS AND TONS OF MOCHI.
We bought bag loads of mochi to make up for the wasted trip.HAHA.
It was not all shopping! We visited Jiu fen and Shi fen.Toured the mountain and looked at lakes and waterfalls.Really pretty. To end it off, soaked in warm sulphurish hot spring waters. There was a hotel there which pumped the hot spring waters into the bathroom itself, so we took turns to take a dip in the famous hot springs. I'm not quite sure of the benefits of sulphur(wasn't it supposed to be bad for you?) but it made us smell like rotten eggs afterwards.
While waiting for the bus to take us back to the train station,Kenneth,Joanne and I climbed up onto the roof of the bus shelter and took photos!
We kinda lived on bien tangs(square packed lunches in 7-11), luo ro fan, cup noodles and milk tea there.HAHA super unhealthy diet.
In addition, we visited the Taipei ZOO! It was alot cheaper than singapore's Zoo, and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Joanne and Kenneth's cousin came along as well, they were on holiday in Taipei as well.So Joanne and Kenneth's little niece, Arien(can't spell it) joined us. Sadly, the little girl and I were the ones who enjoyed the zoo the most. I simply love animals and was on a literal cloud 9 there.But the rest of them were being sucked dry by mosquitos, so didn't quite enjoy the trip to the zoo.
Super funny and memorable moment.Background: Abel,who's Joanne and Kenneth's cousin..is Arien's father.
Abel: "look Arien, what's that?Is that an elephant?
Dawn:*in a super serious tone* No thats an ant eater!!
Everybody: -_-"
apparently that question was directed at Arien, but i didn't know. So I answered it.
---------
Totally didn't want my holidays to end!
But then, if I did so and didn't go to university..I'll be stuck with merely a diploma.
Ahh societial pressures forces us to think practically and compells us to conform.
I suppose studying Comms and working towards a degree gives my life direction. So ah wells!






.:blackrose was awake at 7:37 PM:.
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*Monday, March 29, 2010
I'm sorry I hurt you,never meant to and I wish i could take it away. But to say the least, you've hurt me incredibly too. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. For thinking that it would be different this time around.
Since that day I feel as if a part of my heart is missing,theres a whole spectrum of emotion that I can't seem to feel or reach anymore.I'm afraid and I can't bring myself to feel such emotions anymore.I've became someone I can't recognise and it scares me.I love you but I've got to move on now..


.:blackrose was awake at 11:53 AM:.
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*Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Ok this is way overdue.
On the 19th of Oct,I headed back to school to complete my final semester in NP(like,FINALLY).It was my first time in a long while since I've stepped back into school,because previously I had my attachment in TMC and there was no reason for me to go back to NP.Was extremely weird heading back after 6months,and it took awhile for me to reorientate myself and recall where all the blocks were.."blk 56...where the hell is that?" haha.Felt extremely awkward because majority of my coursemates have graduated,with the except of some stragglers like me.Weren't very close to the juniors either.
Well,after my tutorial I headed down to the library to print out my notes..and as usual,the printer JAMMED ON me again.The NP library printer is notoriously known to jam up on me whenever I need to print stuff urgently,such as my FYP report.
LOL,I remember that incident when I needed to print out my FYP report and the printer JAMMED.I was at my wits end as it was half an hour before the submittion time,and I still had to get it bound before turning it in.In my fustration,I wanted to deliver a well aimed turning kick against the defiant piece of equipment.Then some pudgy dude tried to strike up a conversation with me,and later attempted to ask for my phone number(using the pickup line that it was "fate".OMG).Which I politely rejected.Bad timing man,bad timing.
Anyways,on that fateful 1st day of school..the printer jammed on me again.Initially I thought it was due to a problem with my EZlink card and borrowed another from a girl behind me(yay luckily not the scary dude).However the printer stubbornly refused to work.So I left in a huff and went to get a strawberry green tea to perk myself up.
Afew minutes later,the same girl scurried down carrying a handful of papers."Hey,these are your notes right?I printed them out for you",she said cheerfully,thrusting a stack of looseleaf papers towards me.She explained to me that the library installed another printer at level 3,under the same system.So,when the printer in the bubble tea cafe jammed up..she headed up to the 3rd level to print out her notes,as well as mine.I wanted to pay her back and was fumbling with my coins but she rejected it and went off for class before I could pay her back.
I was really surprised that someone would do such a thing,she didn't need to print out my notes.She could have juz printed hers out,and went off for class.And even if she did print them out,there was no guarantee that I would have still been in the library.
But she did anyway.
I didn't manage to get her name or her contact(I only know that she's from business) as she left in a hurry,but that stranger just made my day.


.:blackrose was awake at 10:59 PM:.
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*Wednesday, July 15, 2009
"If he ever mistreats you I'll find some way to rub chilli powder into his underwear,then soak it in very concentrated soapy water and let it air dry without washing the soap off.
And when he wears it,his appendage will itch so much,shrivel up and drop off!!!"
Muahahaha*psychotic laughter*


.:blackrose was awake at 3:07 PM:.
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*Tuesday, June 30, 2009
On my way home yesterday,a little girl who was accompanied by her maid sat down beside me on the bus.My usual daydreaming was interupted by the adorable little girl's demands..

The sweetie took off a tiny pink bubblegummers sandals and said with an adorably innocent voice..

Little girl:Auntie,my feet are itchy!Can you help scratch it for me?
Poor maid:*amused*No,I'm sorry..but you'll have to scratch it yourself..
Little girl:*innocently*But why,I want you to scratch it for me!!
Poor maid:But I can't,you should scratch your feet yourself
Little girl:*pleadingly*But why?Pls auntie..pls can you scratch it for me?
---Using her manipulatively sweet innocent voice to charm her maid into scratching her little toes for her,but unfortunately for this young sweetheart,the maid was quite adamant about it.

At this point a pair of girls seated in front of me had grins on their faces,and restraining themselves from bursting out in laughter about the maid's unusual predicament.So was I.The poor girl was so adorably ignorant of how its strange to scratch another person's feet for them!!
To scratch or not to scratch?That is the question.


.:blackrose was awake at 10:51 PM:.
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*Monday, June 29, 2009
I just finished an awesome mindboggling japanese drama series called the Liar Game,introduced by Ashley.Its the very first jap/korean/taiwanese drama I've watched and i really like it!Diana didn't fancy it though as she thought it was too boring.But if you like movies with mind games and unexpected twists,the show is fabulously intriguing.

The series is based on the popular manga comic,and although I haven't read the comics..I think the producers did a great job in incorparating signature anime characteristics and behaviour,as well as the costumes.Certain characters were outrageously dressed in outfits that could only appear in manga or anime.One minor detail I noticed was how the Mr mushroom headed guy(can't remember the jap name)'s red scarf was always stiffly upturned in a comical cartoon like fashion.

The gist of the story revolved around a terribly innocent girl who believes in everybody.As a result,she's the favorite candidate for pranks and tricksters.She gets chosen to participate in the Liar Game,and is given 100 million yen.The objective of this game was to trick her opponent into giving her his 100 million yen.At the end of the game,the winner will be the one who as scammed the most money and 100 million yen will be returned to the organistion.While the surplus can be kept as a prize money.However,the loser,will also have to return his/her respective 100 million yen..despite his/her deficit..leaving the loser in debt.Its a very cruel game,where people scam another in order to gain profit for oneself.In order to succeed,you've got to block out human emotion and the despair that the loser will face due to the enormous debts.

She enlists the help of the swindler,fresh out of jail.It turns out that this guy was a psychology major.His mum was cheated by a multilevel marketing company(which incidently,runs the Liar game as well) and resulted in a mountian of debts.Being honest and kind at heart,she had no desire to cheat people of their money and as a results saw suicide as the only resort as her insurance money would be enough to cover the debts and see her son through university.

This girl reminded him alot of his mother,and he became very protective over her..agreeing to help her through the game.Its interesting to see how the participants of the Liar game uses their wits and betraying one another in order to win the game.Many alliances were formed and broken,all at the expense of the entertainment of an old man to ran the corperation.

Why did this guy go to jail btw?Well as hatred and anger festered in this young boy's heart,and he ended up scamming the company which destoryed his mother..and was put in jail.
Anyway,after seeing how much this girl's character resembled his late mother's..he resolves to help her get out of the game debt-free.They go through several rounds of the liar games,undergoing several challenges that requires a shrewd mind.And all the while,the girl remains simple minded and just willing to please everybody.

The mastermind of this liar game is an embittered old man,who's innocence and believe in good character has been weathered and beaten down as a child.Thus,he holds this game as a cruel joy to see other people torment and betray one another for monetary gains and trying to prove a point that humans are selfish,and evil by nature.
----------Reminds me alot about the movie SAW,except the focus was on psychology and wits rather than GORE--------------
One of the parts I loved most of how he channeled his hatred and bitterness towards mankind through a painting that he did during the last months of his life(he was dying,so "Saw" the movie eh?) It portrayed humans having invisible demons attached to them,clinging on and festering within them.
Towards the end,the girl's wellmeaning ways and stubborn resolve to remain good and kind hearted despite being played out many times in the game struck a raw note in him.And slowly he begin to realise that some humans are still so willing to put others before themselves and the goodness does lie in the hearts of them.Her strong resolve to be unassuming and giving people second chances altered his thinking and soon he was able to let go off his painful past.
The show ends as on a brooding and pensive mood as the old man modifies his painting to reflect his revelation of the rare goodness of the girl's heart.The series was seriously quite a heavyweight show brimming with psychology,scams and unpredictable turnouts.
Quite cool,and definately not for the fluff-hearted.:D


.:blackrose was awake at 9:40 PM:.

*
Man In The Mirror


If you couldn't catch the lines due to all his hiccuping(lol!!) and rabid screaming fans,here are the lyrics to Man in the mirror.

I'm gonna make a change,
for once im my life
It's gonna feel real good,
gonna make a diference
Gonna make it right...

As I, turn up the collar on
my favorite winter coat
This wind is blowing my mind
I see the kids in the streets,
with not enought to eat
Who am I to be blind?
Pretending not to see their needs

A summer disregard,a broken bottle top
And a one man soul
They follow each other on the wind ya' know
'Cause they got nowhere to go
That's why I want you to know

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
(If you wanna make the world a better place)
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change
(Take a look at yourself, and then make a change)
(Na na na, na na na, na na, na nah)

I've been a victim of a selfish kind of love
It's time that I realize
That there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan
Could it be really me, pretending that they're not alone?

A willow deeply scarred, somebody's broken heart
And a washed-out dream
(Washed-out dream)
They follow the pattern of the wind ya' see
'Cause they got no place to be
That's why I'm starting with me
(Starting with me!)

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm asking him to change his ways
(Ooh!)
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
(If you wanna make the world a better place)
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change
(Take a look at yourself, and then make a change)

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm asking him to change his ways
(Change his ways - ooh!)
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make that..
(Take a look at yourself and then make that..)
CHANGE!

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
(Man in the mirror - Oh yeah!)
I'm asking him to change his ways
(Better change!)
No message could have been any clearer
(If you wanna make the world a better place)
Despite his erratic and often disturbing behaviour,Michael Jackson was legend.Great vocals,revolutionary dance moves and awesome stage presence..his odd behaviour and scandals only made him more intriguing and famous.He sang a awesome no. of hits related to his life(Billie Jean) as well as songs with humanitarian overtones(Heal the world and Man in the mirror).I grew up listening to his songs as my dad and grandfather were fans of this legendary and radical singer.Its so hard to believe that he's gone,its tragic to see how famous celebrities and legendary singers die in such a way.There has been rumours that MJ was taking a strong type of antidepressants and painkillers,which may have resulted in an overdose and cardic arrest.However,toxicity reports have not come to any concrete conclusions yet.This reminded me of legendary figures like Elvis Presley,Marilyn Monroe,Anna Nicole Smith.Famous people who lived in lives of luxury.Money was the answer to every desire and need,but however valuable and bountiful it was to them..Money could not buy happiness.The seemingly successful icons of luxury were very unhappy people.Was it due to the overwhelming stress of being under massive debt?Being overworked?
I would guess when money and fame is thrusted upon an individual,especially at a young age..it addles one's mind and makes them foolish in their spending and the way they live their lives.It has a way of making them live for the moment,and never considering how it would affect them in future.Death does not know any bounds,it finds both the rich and poor..and the young and old.
I'm mildly amused of how pple flock to record stores to get their hands on any MJ-related item,CDs,videos and books when the guy dies.Reminds me of Vincent Van Gogh and other artists,who only became famous and when their paintings fetch higher prices after their death.


.:blackrose was awake at 6:36 PM:.
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*Tuesday, April 21, 2009
1st day of our attachment at Thomson Medical Centre..
Both of us were really excited about the change in envionment and working life,thus the happy smiles on our faces.Incidentally,both of us happened to wear green and GREEN also happens to be TMC's trademark colours!:D
haha but it totally wasn't planned.
Attachment has been a sobering reality for me,after reading through possible genetic abnormalities and real life cases happening in Singapore..Its saddening to see how a tiny glitch somewhere during the process can cause such serious effects.And despite how we often think our looks and brains aren't adequate,we're already so perfectly made compared to those who weren't as fortunate as us.Also,I'm either having kids before 27 or not at all..because the older women grow,the higher the risk of genetic complications arise.When our supervisor explained it to us,the thought of our 'eggs' growing older and less useable reminded me of...
CENTURY EGGS.
hehe.
Anyways,I'm really glad that Joanna and I managed to get this place..The pay(paid my NP) isn't very good and we're required to work on saturdays as well,however our supervisor is a really nice lady.On the first day I found out that she was actually under Auntie Helen(Joanne's mum) previously when she was at NUH.And her kids go to Fairfield methodist.Such a small world!
The first day was spent mostly reading up on different cases in singapore and a refresher on genetics and possible mutations. Today(2nd day) we did an internal audit for the neonatal diagnosic department,which is where we're posted to.I reviewed like,170+ cases and still have tons more to go.We learnt how to recognise the different band placement of the chromosome in order to classify and distinguish them from each other for karyotyping.As well as to familiarise ourselves with the washing of lab equipment(packed with dangerously thin and SHARP glass pipettes that BREAK easily) and tmr will be our first day in the actual lab!:)
I'm excited yet kinda worried that I'd break things coz I'm known to be rather clumsy.
Nearly dropped the pipettes twice today,and they're glass>.<
Soon we'll be learning karyotyping!



.:blackrose was awake at 10:26 PM:.
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